Character Creation
Chapter Three – Headband of Inverted Intent

Headband of Inverted Intent
Slot: Headband; Aura: Strong transmutation; Caster Level 8th; Weight: 1 lb.
This headband functions as a headband of mental superiority +6. Further, it grants the wearer a +20 circumstance bonus on Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive checks made on individuals who are sexually attracted to the wearer’s gender.



	“Hand over your fuckin’ wallet, that watch and your fuckin’ phone or I’ll slit your old geezer throat!”
	The old man turned slowly and gave a considering look at Badger. He didn’t look afraid; maybe he was too senile to understand the threat? He didn’t look confused, except that any sane person in these circumstances would be terrified. Badger should know; he did this on the regular.
	“Yes, yes, I suppose I will at that,” the old man said at last, slowly removing his wristwatch. Badger almost hadn’t seen it, concealed as it was by the baggy sleeves of the old guy’s robe. But he had a keen eye for valuables – a guy had to in this line of work or he didn’t last long. The man handed it over. “Here you are, you brigand.”
	“Now your wallet – I know you got one somewhere in that bitch-ass dress, mother fucker. C’mon  c’mon c’mon hurry the fuck up!” He brandished his knife menacingly.
	“Verily, verily,” he said, withdrawing an arm into his sleeve. Badger watched closely for a weapon, ready to carry out his threat at the first sign of danger. Happily, the old man didn’t try anything. Badger didn’t want to hurt him – didn’t really want to hurt anyone, for that matter. Bluster was his best offense.
	“Now, I am afraid I don’t possess one of these misshapen wands of Whispering Wind you young people seem to favor, but… mayhap I have something better?” From a pouch at his pocket, he removed something – a length of cloth. It looked valuable, all right – interwoven with gold thread, with an intricate pattern in the base weave. Truth be told, it looked pretty cool. Only…
	“Hey, why you volunteer this shit?” he asked suspiciously. “I didn’t ask for no fuckin’ headband.”
	“Oh, but you did, you did!” the old man insisted. “Perhaps not in those terms, but I think this may have been made just for you. It’s very special, you know…” He leaned in; Badger kept the knife raised. “They say it even has magical powers to make the wearer cunning, sage and charming. Perhaps it will even take you away from this sordid life you have chosen, eh?”
	Badger snatched it from his leathery hand. “Fuck you – I didn’t choose shit.”
	“Nonsense, young highwayman – you made a choice tonight that will affect the entire rest of your life!”
	“Yo fuck you, man,” Badger said contemptuously, then darted away down the alley. He didn’t stop running for blocks, not until he reached his apartment.
	A good night, all in all. Some nights he didn’t get so lucky – this watch would fetch a good price at the pawn shops. The wallet was as weird as the old dude carrying it – literally nothing in there but a dozen-odd slips of paper that read “1 Platinum Piece” on them, and a discount card for someplace called The Game Preserve. Still, the watch made up for it, and the headband…
	His inspection was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Danny? Danny, I fuckin’ saw you go in there, you open this fuckin’ door right now!”
	Great, his landlord. Well, there was no dodging him. He opened the door to reveal the broad-shouldered Italian on the other side. “You’re five fucking days late again, Danny. I thought you said we were past this. You told me this shit wasn’t gonna happen no more.”
	“I know, Ron, I know. I’ll have your money tomorrow, hand to God.”
	“That’s what you said when you were late last month, and here you are again. You know, we got to find a better way to motivate you, son. I don’t like havin’ to come down here and bust your balls every month.”
	“I know, I know – I promise, last time. I don’t have your rent tomorrow, you can go ahead and change the locks. You got my blessing.”
	“I don’t need your fuckin’ blessing, Danny. What I need is my fuckin’ money.” He scowled, his bushy mustache hiding most of it. “Now you get me your rent – tomorrow – or I’ll take it out of your ass. You get me?”
	“I get you, Ron.”
	His burly landlord slammed the door behind him; he could hear him stop to politely greet old Mrs. Callamezzo on the stairs. Of course, he’s all smiles for the lady whose pension check arrived like clockwork. Asshole.
	Badger settled down onto the couch, returning his attention to the headband. He could probably get good money for it – some douche hipster asshole would pay top dollar for it, no doubt. Still…
	“All right, I do not think this thing really has magic powers. I don’t,” he told himself. It couldn’t. Just because that guy was dressed like some Gandalf-ass mother fucker didn’t mean he was a wizard or some shit. It was just… it was cool. Badger didn’t really have any bling, and… oh, what the hell.
	He tried it on.
	“See? I knew this dumb thing didn’t have any thaumaturgical properties,” he said, shaking his head. Such a notion was objectively impossible; no matter what J.K. Rowling would have us believe, if magic existed, people were neither sufficiently oblivious nor close-lipped to prevent the knowledge thereof from proliferating.
	Wait, what?
	Then he caught sight of his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He blinked, then rushed over to it and gaped, touching his face as if unsure it could be real. “No fucking way,” he breathed.
	He was hot. He’d not been ugly before – “plain” was more apt a description. Suddenly, his jaw line was square and chiseled, his cheekbones much more pronounced, his teeth gleaming white, everything perfectly symmetrical. His brown hair was suddenly thicker, vibrant and glossy, styled like he’d just left a photo shoot for some headshots. His skin was tan and he had stubble perfectly styled, like he’d seen on guys in magazines.
	And that was just the face.
	Badger stripped off article after article of clothing, marveling at each revelation. Well-defined abs. No more blemishes or moles – nor even hair, for that matter. Sculpted ass. Dynamite areolas.
	A person of ordinary perspicacity would have wasted a good period of incredulity over the affair, but Badger was no longer such a churl. Obviously, the headband had magical powers. Illogical as it seemed from the outside, nothing else could explain this. Just to confirm that there wasn’t some sort of hallucinogenic substance that had been on part of the object and was now distorting his awareness, he removed it. Instantly, he became his old self – pale, undefined, unimpressive, unremarkable. 
	Headband back on and sexy came back, and with it a flood of new thoughts and perspectives. He began to see himself more objectively, instantly aware of the dead-end life he’d chosen. What had he been thinking – that he could live out his whole life scamming people, robbing people, always one step ahead of total ruin? It was absurd.
	He needed a plan. And if this headband functioned as advertised… he had one. First, to get some seed money.



	There she was, Genevieve Millesant. Badger hadn’t seen her in several years, not since he’d been kicked out of high school, but she was much the same as she’d been – the sort of girl that even a total stranger could tell was a spoiled cunt from across a room. That haircut had probably cost upwards of three hundred dollars, the height of fashion this season, probably because someone even richer and more vapid than Genevieve wore it on some television show.
	She was seated at the bar, her back to the club’s dance floor to convey she wasn’t looking for companionship – she expected companionship to look for her. No doubt it had tried already, given the smoking hot little red dress she’d stuffed her curves into. Badger had arrived early, seeing the half-witted socialite had posted her intended whereabouts on social media, and though her privacy kept him out, he’d been able to hack the account of one of her friends foolish enough to use his birthday as a password, and through his account, her post told him right where to find her. 
	Simplicity itself.
	This had not been a cheap investment – the sale of the watch had been enough to cover a suit rental, and he’d gotten some decent cologne just by stopping at the cosmetic counter and asking for a sample. Everything else was taken care of by the headband.
	More than everything in fact. In the six hours since he’d purloined it, he’d also observed some of its ancillary properties that had not been immediately obvious. For one, nobody seemed to notice that he was wearing a very noticeable headband. The others he’d nearly missed, had he not decided to flirt a bit with Carissa at the pawn shop to boost her pay-out. It was those ancillary properties, in fact, that had caused him to abandon his original plan and instead chase after this one. 
	The pay-off likely wouldn’t be as good, but the fringe benefits were incomparably superior. Namely, Genevieve Millesant. 
	He waited on the outskirts of the club, fending off advances of a few less-intriguing women, and one at least as attractive as Genevieve if not more so. Still, he was on mission – and when he made eye contact with her while dismissing the buxom redhead, he saw he’d scored a point for discernment. 
	Eventually, a place opened up two stools away from her at the bar, and he made his way over, careful not to address her directly. Play it cool. He ordered a drink – he’d thought up something inordinately particular, the sort of drink only a snob among snobs would order – and remained pointedly oblivious to the bartender’s impressed look. She was pretty cute herself – probably made a killing in tips.
	As he’d hoped, the order got Genevieve’s attention as well. “That’s quite an order,” she said. “Does it have a name?”
	“I call it per fare sesso,” he said, remembering her from his German class. Indeed, she arched an eyebrow, clearly not proficient in Italian. “It means, ‘a little risk.’” Actually it meant “about to get laid,” but what did she care.
	The man at the stool between them, seeing them opening conversation, stood back and offered either a trade of seats; Genevieve took it, her eyes wolfishly taking in his gorgeous physique. “Oh? You don’t look like the kind of guy who takes many risks.”
	“I don’t?”
	“No, you look like you’re more the church-on-Sunday, calls-mother-weekly, in-bed-by-9:30 type.” She adjusted the collar of his shirt. “A risk-taker wouldn’t come in here in last year’s suit.”
	“You know, you may be a better judge of character than you think,” he said easily. “I was actually hoping to be in bed by 9:30 tonight.”
	“Better hurry – it’s already after 9:00,” she said. In his peripheral vision, he could already see her nipples hardening in her tight little dress. She leaned towards him, keeping good and close.
	“Well I still haven’t figured out whose bed I’m going to be in,” he said, smilingly slyly.
	Badger knew a blunt line like that would usually get a guy slapped across the face – maybe even a guy as handsome as he now was. Yet instead, just like Carissa at the pawn shop, she laughed like he’d made a brilliant joke, swallowing his lame line like it was Byron.
	“Well, don’t you think highly of your odds,” she said, coloring slightly as she was imagining herself as the recipient of his suggestion.
	“I do,” he said confidently. The bartender handed him his drink; he took a long pull and forced himself not to recoil in disgust at the vile concoction. Badger had always been more of a hooch kind of guy.
	“Well, don’t let me get in your way then,” Genevieve said, practically daring him to keep flirting.
	“Seen anyone worth pursuing?” he asked, glancing around the dance floor. “Mind you, I am very particular about who I bother making an effort at.” 
	The raven-haired woman flushed with pleasure at the implied compliment; Badger was pleased she’d been bright enough to catch it. “Well, why don’t you tell me what kind of girl you like, and I’ll keep an eye out?”
	“I was looking for someone with a dynamite body – a little on the short side, hourglass figure, well-proportioned breasts. Maybe darker hair, wearing something a little slutty without being too inviting about it. Pouty lips, sexy smile, and maybe one looking to join me in taking… a little risk,” Badger said smoothly – or smoothly enough, as she ate up every word of his description of her as eloquent praise. 
	He’d already tested how far he could push it – he’d get there, though. There was no rush.
	“Gee, I’m not sure I know anyone like that,” she said, blushing coyly, clearly aware he’d meant her. 
	“I think I might,” he said, then abandoning the game, downed the rest of his drink and flashed her a dazzling smile. “I’m Daniel.”
	“Genevieve,” she said, offering a hand.
	“Ah, a lovely name – bit of a mouthful though. Do you mind if I call you Genny?”
	Badger knew for a fact she would. He’d called her that in high school just to annoy her, and she’d gone bat-shit crazy on him. Her rich daddy had finally used his influence to have him suspended for “sexual harassment” when he kept at it. His ma had been berserk – and that was nothing compared to how pissed his step-dad had been for having to listen to her go on about it.
	Time to see just how influential the headband made him. “Not at all,” she said, though he caught a flash of resistance over it.
	“Great, Genny,” he said, quietly relishing at seeing her conceal the ticks of her irritation with it. “You have really nice boobs, by the way.”
	The guy Genny had traded seats with nearly choked on his drink at the sudden dereliction of charm. Genny, however, just smiled, cupping them self-consciously. She was too pleased with his attention to scrutinize the manner of delivery. “Thank you,” she said simply.  
	“Can you turn around for me, show me if your other parts are as sumptuous?”
	She blushed brighter still, but with a bashful smile, slowly spun around, watching his expression over her shoulder. She kept it thrust back at him, doing her best to accentuate its shapeliness. It was just as great of an ass as he remembered jacking off to as a teenager.
	“Not too bad, eh?” she said proudly. 
	“I’ll say – a body like that, you could make a fortune as a call girl.”
	She smiled. “Maybe you’re a risk-taker after all, Daniel. I like how you shoot from the hip, no bullshit like these other guys who are always trying to feed me a line.”
	“If you like that, wait until you get a good look at my dick.” Behind Genny, the man who’d given her the seat stared in awe. Badger risked a wink at him.
	“Daniel!” she exlaimed with a blush. “You’re so… forward!” 
	“Sorry, Genny – I guess I was just overwhelmed by the sight of you in your slutty little dress.”
	She giggled. “My father would KILL me if he knew I was wearing something like this.”
	“Well just think how he’d feel when he heard about you not wearing it. Speaking of… do you want to maybe get out of here?”
	She reached for her shot, still sitting on the bar, and downed it. “Love to. You drive?”
	“Nah, I can’t afford a car.”
	“Oh.” That, of all things, actually made her smile fade. Fucking rich bitches. “You know, maybe we’re rushing into this, Daniel…”
	“Yeah, ever since I picked up my new racing cycle – GMX 22k Ultra,” he said. That sounded like a real thing – not like Genny had ever been within a hundred yards of a motorcycle. “Cost me almost a hundred grand.”
	“Oh, wow,” she said, her interest immediately renewing at the mention of disposable income. “How fast does it go?”
	“She’ll make .5 past light speed. 1.21 jiggawatt engine.”
	“Wait, isn’t that from…” She trailed off, a little uncomfortable contradicting him. He seemed so confident!
	“From Belgium, yeah – all the best racing bikes are. So anyway, you wanna bring your ride around? I’ll meet you in front after I cover our drinks.”
	He pinched her ass when she turned to leave; she jumped, then turned and grinned as she sauntered off, an unmistakeable added wiggle to her gait.
	“How the fuck did you do that, man?” asked their observer.
	“Do what?” Badger asked, slipping a twenty onto the bar to pay.
	“Have that hot-ass girl eating out of the palm of your hand without any game. I was working up the nerve to talk to her for half an hour, and saw her shoot down three guys. What gives?”
	“I guess I just have a way with the fairer sex,” Badger said as the bartender came over to take his money. “Say, sweet tits, I can pay you for the drinks, or I can give you my number. You pick.”
	The young woman’s eyes bulged at his forwardness, but quickly it turned to a flattered smile. “You give me a fake number and I’ll take it outta your ass next time I see you.”
	She held out a pen, and he quickly jotted down a number – not his; he’d moved on from the part of his life where he nailed skanks like her – on the napkin. “And you should give my friend here a chance – I promise you won’t regret it.”  He clapped his fan on the back, nudging him toward her.
	“Hi,” she said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger and smiling sweetly at Badger, then his new friend. “My name’s Denise, what’s yours?”
	Genny was waiting for him in her car, a Maserati. “Of course it is, he grumbled just before opening the door and climbing in. “Nice ride,” he said as he climbed in. “Get good mileage?”
	“I’m sure I don’t know,” she said as she started driving. “I don’t really pay attention to the technical stuff – the help just gases it up whenever it needs it.”
	Of course you don’t worry about gas prices. “What kind of anti-theft features does it have?”
	“Um, I have no idea. Why, planning on stealing it?” She laughed. He laughed too. Ha ha ha. Moron.
	“No, just thinking in terms of your security – you should really get the Zone X-class finder upgrade. Best in the biz. I tell you what, I’ll take it out for you tomorrow – I know a guy who does great work, he’ll get it installed and I’ll have it back to you before you know it.”
	“You want me to just give you my car? This thing costs, like, a lot,” she said nervously.
	“All the more reason you need better security on it, right?”
	She smacked her forehead as if she’d failed to realize the obvious. “Oh, duh, right. Sure, that sounds great, Daniel.”
	“You know,” he said a few minutes later, turning off the god-awful rich-white-girl rap music she’d been blasting, “as hot as you are, I bet you a million bucks you’ve never sucked a cock in your life.” To say nothing of being a fucking princess.
	“What! No, I totally have,” she said; maybe it was the headband, maybe it was just intuition, but he felt like he could read her like a book.
	“You sound pretty defensive there, Genny. All right, let me guess. You were a teenager, your first boyfriend. He wanted to fuck you – and who could blame him, you little sexpot, you – but you were too nervous. You didn’t want to risk him telling everyone you were a prude, so you met him halfway, give him a crack at that pretty little mouth of yours. Am I close?”
	“How did you…?! I mean, it’s like you’re inside my head!”
	Actually, he’d heard a rumor to that effect in high school from some asshole in his gym class and forgotten it long ago until the headband had given him powers of recall that were borderline miraculous. Coupled with her reaction, he cobbled together a guess.
	“Just took a guess. Geez, and you start out telling me I’m not a risk-taker.”
	“Just because I haven’t sucked much cock doesn’t mean I don’t have a wild side,” she said peevishly.
	“Oh yeah? Well let’s see it, Genny. Come on – pull over the car, let’s see how wild you are.” By now, he wasn’t surprised that his goad worked. As she pulled over in a dark parking lot, he went right ahead unbuckled his belt and opened up his pants, letting his cock out into the open air.
	“Start sucking, wild child,” he said.
	There was a long silence as she stared at him, flickering between angry glare, lustful grin, shy pout and determined nod. As her mouth opened, he had a hunch it wasn’t to accept his cock. “Look,” she started.
	Immediately, he began doing up his pants, shaking his head. “I knew it. I knew you were a little princess who doesn’t know the first thing about men. Just a scared little daddy’s girl.”
	“No, wait!” she said, reversing course without even realizing it. “You didn’t let me finish. I was going to say, ‘look, maybe I haven’t done this a lot before, but I’ll do my best.’”
	Badger paused in the midst of doing up his fly. “I dunno, you looked pretty unsure. How do I know you really want to suck me off?” 
	“I do! Really, I do, I promise. Come on, let me show you. I’ll do it.”
	Casually, he let his fly back down, trying not to smirk at the suddenly insistent look on her face. Genny undid her seatbelt and leaned across, mouth open, tongue extended. Holy shit, Genevieve Millesant is about to suck my fucking dick! How could this get any sweeter! Whether the headband or just his own natural greed, he gently planted a hand on her forehead just before she touched it.
	“I need to be sure you really want it.”
	She glanced up at him. “Of course I mean it. I’m about to suck it, aren’t I?”
	“That’s for me to decide,” he said. “If I’m gonna let you do this, I want to hear you ask me for it. Like you really want it.”
	“Ask you…? Well, I guess that’s fair.” Genny – the fucking bitch who’d sneered down her nose at him in high school, who thought her shit smelled like cinnamon rolls – batted her eyelashes at him, smiled sweetly, and asked him in her sultriest tone, “Daniel? May I please, please suck your dick?”
	He considered. “Only two please’s?”
	She brushed his hand aside, leaning down to speak with her lips brushing against his cock, which was getting harder by the second. “May I please,” lick, “please,” lick, “please,” lick, “pretty pretty please,” lick, kiss, lick, “suck your cock?”
	“I’ve never let a girl blow me without at least seeing her naked first,” he said reluctantly.
	That was all it took. She had to squirm quite a bit in the tight confines of the luxury car, but she managed to get that skimpy red dress off. She didn’t even need prompting to ditch her underwear, revealing an amazing set of tits – clearly fake, his discerning eye noted, but worth everything her daddy had paid – and a pussy just as blonde as her hair.
	“Now can I?” She smiled hopefully. “Please?”
	“I suppose so. Suck my dick, Genny.”
	She did. Badger had had his cock in more than a couple mouths over the years, but he was no connoisseur. It didn’t matter that the bitch wasn’t experienced, she got to it. A single half-hearted attempt at complimenting her – “you sure you don’t do this all the time? Because damn, you know how to work a cock!” – and she was blowing him with a vengeance.
	Badger guided her up to a kneeling position on the driver’s seat, using her new position as an opportunity to fondle those nicely sculpted boobs of hers. He remembered his imagination’s portrait of them back in high school; they were even better. “You got some damn nice titties, Genny,” he said, honking them firmly.
	She squealed in delight at hearing such eloquent praise and took his cock all the way into her throat as far as she could until her gag reflex made her pull back. One hand snaked back to her pussy, too aroused by how sexy this man was to wait for him to get around to it himself.
	“What’s that for?” she asked at one point, pulling back long enough to get out the words out and not a moment longer.
	Badger made sure his phone’s flash was on, then snapped a picture. Her eyes were wide with shock. He got another before she even bothered to pause. “What the hell!”
	“You looked so sexy down there on my dick that I wanted to be able to remember this night forever,” he said soothingly. “Don’t worry – it’s just between us. I’d never show these to anyone – you can trust me, Genny.”
	She frowned, still unsure.
	“Ya know, you’re right. Maybe I should do video instead of pictures – that way it won’t be distracting you. I don’t want anything to ruin this experience for you – you deserve this,” Badger said earnestly. 
	At that, she smiled brightly. “You’re so thoughtful, Daniel.”
	“Only because you’re such an obviously classy girl,” he replied, hitting the record button and making sure it was positioned to get a good shot of her face and where her tits were dangling down beneath it. “Now tell the camera how excited you are, and if you’re very convincing, I’ll let you keep sucking it.”
	Genny struggled only a moment with the logic of this, but figured someone this reasonable and charming must be worth going the extra mile for. “I love sucking your cock, Daniel,” she said, looking right into the camera. “Your dick is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted, and I can’t wait to get your cum in my mouth. I’m such a hot little cock-sucker, aren’t I? Come on, let widdle Genny Wenny sucky your big hard dick,” she pleaded, sitting up and fondling herself shamelessly.
	“Finger yourself – that’d be really convincing,” he said. He couldn’t even fathom how that could make sense to someone, but maybe she was too horny now to care as she immediately sent one hand down to do just that.
	“How about now? Now can I finish sucking your cock? Pretty pretty please?”
	“Oh, all right. You’re lucky I have a soft spot for weak-willed little sluts.”
	She giggled, and pounced back onto his dick so fast he was actually scared for a second. Damn, this headband was the best thing he’d ever stolen.
	He didn’t bother warning her before his orgasm hit, and she was too inexperienced to notice the build-up. Genny squealed with surprise as her mouth was flooded with a week’s worth of pent-up man-juice, and Badger held her head in place until he was good and drained.
	She sat up, mouth so full of cum it was starting to trickle down her chin and drip onto her bare tit – he made sure to get that on film – and looked around as if she had no idea what to do now. She tried to roll down the window, but with the car off, it didn’t budge; in the princess’ desperation to regain use of her mouth and spit out the icky, she threw open the door and stumbled out, spitting loudly and indelicately into the parking lot.
	Badger closed and locked her door, snagged the key fob from her purse, and joined her in the parking lot, where she was tugging hard at the handle to get her naked ass back inside. “Daniel, let me in, I’m naked!”
	“Genny, you told me, you looked me right in the eye and told me, that you were wild and loved to suck dick. Do you remember that?”
	“Well, not exactly like that, but…”
	“But it’s what you meant, right?”
	She nodded, covering her breasts and crotch with her hands and arms as best she could.
	“Then what do you do? You finally work up the skill to get me off, and then you spit? Like a little girl who’s never sucked a dick before. I’m disappointed. I thought you were for real, wild child.”
	“I am!” she insisted. “I just… I dunno, I panicked. There was just so MUCH, and… and… look, I’m sorry, OK? Can we talk about it back in the car?” She watched nervously for anyone to come by, but lucky for her, this was a quiet neighborhood at this hour. For now.
	“Well, I got to thinking,” Daniel said, making no move to open the doors. “I thought, ‘hey, maybe this is her game, right? Maybe she’s not full of shit, and maybe she’s just misbehaving for attention.’ Is that you? You ever be bad just to get a little attention?”
	Again, his dusted-off memories from high school served him well, remembering stories of a huge party she’d throw at her house when her parents were out of town. Badger hadn’t been invited – she didn’t want the poors in her home – but it had been the talk of the school.
	“Well, maybe sometimes…”
	“So was I right? You a bad girl?”
	She grinned, enjoying the way he inflected it. It was so naughty – not the sort of thing the classy guys she usually dated said at all. “You know it, baby.”
	He beckoned her to come over to his side of the car, and she did (especially considering she was parked so that his side at last offered a modicum of protection from traffic). He spun her around and bent her over the hood of her car; it was so cold he could practically hear her nipples digging into the hood as they hardened.
	“Do you know what bad little sluts get, Genny?”
	“Mmmm, they get fucked like little sluts,” she said, wriggling her ass at him.
	Daniel reached down and caressed her ass, running fingers through the wetness between her legs. “Close,” he said. Then – after making sure his camera was aimed right – he smacked right down on her bare ass.
	Genny yelped in pain and shock. “OW! You can’t spank me! Do you know who I am!” she thundered.
	He put his hand on her back, keeping her bent down. “You’re a bad little slut, aren’t you? My bad little slut.”
	“Well yes, but still…!”
	“And you’re so fucking hot like this, aren’t you Genny?”
	“Yeah, I… I mean thanks… I mean… you can’t…”
	“God you have a perfect ass,” Badger said, letting his hand slide down to grope it. She didn’t try to stand. “You know that? Of course you know that. Ass like this, you have to be keeping it in this shape on purpose, right?”
	“Yeah,” she said, still a bit guardedly, but already softening. “I run… every day. Pilates.”
	“Only reason a girl could want to keep her ass looking this sexy is to get it noticed, am I right?”
	“Well, I guess it’s nice to get a little attention…”
	“Not just nice,” he corrected, stroking her pussy again. “Seems like it gets you crazy horny. It’s OK, I don’t judge.” 
	“Well yeah, I guess it kinda does,” she conceded, rubbing herself against his hips.
	“I must be the luckiest guy in town” – that much was true – “to have a slut this hot, desperate for me to touch her ass.”
	She moaned as he rubbed (generously, he thought) at her clit. “No, I’m the lucky one…”
	“A slut this desperate for me to see it.”
	“Mm, yeah Daniel, look at it.”
	“A slut this desperate for me to touch it.”
	“Oh god, just spank me again already…”
	“A slut this desperate for…” He realized she’d already conceded. Okey doke. “Well, as long as you thank me, I promise I won’t stop, OK?”
	She nodded her head, cheek rubbing against the cold hood of her car. Daniel didn’t need the headband to remember sitting in the principal’s office, listening to that cunt tell him he was being suspended, thinking of how pissed his ma had been, the working over he’d gotten…
	Genny got a very solid nineteen spankings in before she started to cry so hard the “thank you” didn’t come. By then, his prompting had had her craving it, pleading for him to keep going even as he was sure he was smacking her so hard she’d not be able to sit right.
	“Aw, don’t cry, Genny,” he said. He didn’t care that she was hurt, humiliated at being seen by a guy out walking his dog, more confused and aroused than she’d ever been before and didn’t even understand why. He just found the noise irritating.
	“I’m sorry,” she whined. “Thank you – please keep going. I can take it. I’m such a bad, bad little fucking gutterslut of a whore,” she said, having picked up on some of his language.
	“Naw, I feel guilty – you’re not that bad. Want me to… make it up to you?” Carefully, avoiding where she’d been spanked, he felt between her legs and found her dripping wet.
	“Oh god, yes,” she moaned. “Fuck me, Daniel. Please fuck me. I’ll be as bad as you want, but you HAVE to fuck me.”
	“You got it, Genny.”
	“There should be a condom in my purse,” she said. “I’m not on the pill.”
	He froze for just a moment. Here he was, about to fuck his high school wet dream, about to hear her beg for it, and suddenly, this. “Wait, you saying you’re not clean?”
	“No, I am – trust me, I’m super careful.” That, he believed. “But I don’t wanna get pregnant, ya know.”
	“Oh yeah, that’d be awful,” he said, mentally adding for you. “I don’t usually use one, so… I tell you what. You want something from me, you gotta gimme something in return.”
	“My pussy’s not enough?” she asked testily.
	“It was gonna be, but a condom’s a lot to ask for with a pussy like this on the line.”
	“All right, what do you want? Just make it fast, I’m so fucking horny! And we’re still outdoors, all… exposed!”
	“Your earrings.”
	“Wait, what?”
	He’d appraised them earlier – diamond studded, gold base – easily half a grand each. “You heard me.”
	“What the hell do you want my earrings for?”
	“A keepsake, Genny – a keepsake. Something to remember the sexiest slut I ever fucked by.”
	“I dunno, these are Mother’s, and she’ll be really cross with me…”
	“Here she is again, the mild child,” he said with a sigh.
	“No! I just… sorry. I’ll… make something up. Blame it on the help – she doesn’t trust Mexicans anyway.” Damn, a whole family of bitches. Still, she got to work removed the earrings, and handed them to him meekly.
	“Necklace too – unless you’re not the bad girl I was starting to think you were.” Without any more resistance, she unclasped it and handed it over, another few grand at least.
	“Now put on the condom and fuck me already!” she pleaded, bending herself back over the car.
	“Oh sure, just a second, he said. He fumbled around in her purse, then took out the receipt for the suit rental out of his pocket and crinkled it some. The sound effects seemed convincing enough to her; when he told her it was on, she just arched her back, thrust her pretty red butt out, and braced herself to get fucked.
	The recording probably wasn’t the best quality, given how hard he rammed it into this bitch. He couldn’t bring himself to care that it probably hurt her tender butt to be pounded like that, nor that there was definitely at least a couple windows nearby where he saw someone peaking through the blinds and watching this high-class princess get her brains fucked out like a street whore in a dirty parking lot.
	He felt a little bad when he came in her. But only a little. She’d obviously gotten off so many times and so intensely each time that by then, any reasonable person would hold he’d done her a favor.
	“Holy shit,” she breathed. “You were incredible. I’ve never been fucked like that before. In fact, I, um… never…”
	“Wait, you’re a virgin?!” he exclaimed.
	“Sort of?” she said. “I’ve, um, used toys before.” 
	“Why the hell did you have a condom then?”
	“In case somebody rufied me or something, and I was still awake enough or something. I dunno. I just go to clubs to flirt a little, and because Daddy hates it when I go out to places like that. Wait – are you – holy shit, are you still recording this?”
	“I am – don’t worry, I got every minute of it. Man, you’re so lucky – I wish I could have my first time recorded forever. I’ll make sure you get a copy, don’t worry.”
	“Oh. Um, OK. Could you maybe stop now?”
	“Just one more thing – look into the camera and say, ‘Badger, thank you for taking my virginity.’”
	“Badger? Who the hell is Badger?”
	“Err, Daniel. Sorry.”
	“Ugh, I knew this total scuzzball loser in high school everybody called Badger. Total asshole – used to leer at me all the time.”
	“Maybe if you didn’t dress like a ho he wouldn’t have done that,” he snapped before he could stop himself. He quickly forced a smile and kissed her long enough she forgot the topic. “So come on. Say thanks – so every time you re-watch this, you can remember what a beautiful experience you had, losing your cherry to me, Daniel, in this parking lot.”
	She rolled her eyes and laughed. “You’ve got such an ego, Daniel. But you’re right. This was a hell of a wild night. Thank you, Daniel, for being the one to make me a woman. Happy now?”
	He nodded.
	“Can we get back in the car now?”
	He unlocked the door.
	She got dressed inside the car even though it was trickier; evidently privacy trumped convenience. Badger amused himself by taking a few more gropes and pinches and pokes while she did – when else would he ever get the chance to do it again, after all – and she just giggled it off.
	“So it looks like you weren’t in bed by 9:30 after all, Daniel. Ah well. So can I drop you off somewhere?”
	“I was about to ask you the same. Remember, you wanted me to install the security on it for you? Figured I could just drop you off, then bring it back tomorrow after it’s done. Maybe see if you want to let yourself be a little wild again.”
	Genny grinned at the prospect, delighted.
	


	Thanks to Carissa and her soft spot for hot guys with magical headbands, he got a great rate on the jewelry. (“I don’t usually take jewelry this nice – it’s always stolen.” “Like you stole my breath in that outfit, you little minx, damn!” The rest was hot, sweaty, profitable history.)
	Badger also got a great deal from the guys at the chop-shop for her Maserati. His buddies didn’t usually deal in merchandise this high-end, but they knew guys who did, and more importantly, they knew how to disable all the security before that stupid bitch realized he wouldn’t be returning it.
	With that concluded, he uploaded the video to the group their high school class had on social media, captioning it precisely: “Genevieve Millesant sucks and gets spanked by Badger in a parking lot just before he takes her cherry – then thanks him for it.”.
	By the time he’d walked back to his apartment a short while later, it already had 30 likes and twice as many shares. Several comments about how he’d gotten so much hotter since high school they barely recognized him. No doubt it would be reported and blocked, and probably his account disabled, but who the fuck cared. That life was behind him, thanks to the headband.
	Now, he just needed to pay off his landlord, Ron – not that Badger had any intention to stay in that shit hole of a place with his newly acquired class mobility, but he didn’t want to deal with the hassle of having the son of a bitch toss his stuff out on the sidewalk and change the locks. A lot of his stuff was utter refuse, but some of it had sentimental value, at least. Besides, his rent check was chump change now.
	Ron wasn’t in his office, so he just went on up to his room; leaving money in his office was an invitation to let the asshole pretend he never got it, and besides, it’d be fun to let the old bastard see how flush with cash he was now. His landlord had always looked down at him like just another deadbeat from the neighborhood – and maybe he had been – but it would be a good moment to throw it in his face.
	He took off the headband, once more looking at his old face. Already the two identities were separating in his head, and both were contemptuous of this poor jerk. Danny. A high school drop-out, a thief and a cheat, a hoodlum through and through. The sort of guy whose potential no one had ever underestimated. Even the name was the sort of thing one couldn’t take seriously – it was why he’d started going by Badger around the neighborhood. Nobody was afraid of a guy named Danny. Danny’s were pussies.
	With relish, he put the headband on. Daniel’s beautiful face returned, smiling reassuringly, his comforting flood of insight and clarity of thinking coming with it. He settled onto his couch, letting his mind wander through fantasies – now possibilities – of what he could do, all thanks to the headband. His last thought before he drifted off was the voice of his mother, nagging him that “crime doesn’t pay.”
	If only she knew.
	


The item’s curse activates as soon as the wearer is alone with a member of the same gender. Thereafter, the headband merges with the wearer’s skin, becoming impossible to take off without a remove curse spell. Once the curse is active, the wearer’s gender changes to its opposite, morphing all applicable worn gear to be appropriate for his new form. He also takes a -6 to Intelligence and Wisdom, but the Charisma bonus remains. He loses the above-noted skill bonuses, but others gain a +20 circumstance bonus on such checks made against him.



	Ronaldo Minetti made the trip up four flights of stairs for what he swore would be the last time. If that shithead little prick didn’t have his money this time, he’d brought his toolkit. He’d change the lock here and now, and fuck the stupid kid. One of these days he was going to wind up dead or in jail, and Ron suspected that as shiftless as he was, it would be sooner rather than later.
	He took a moment to catch his breath from the stair climb, mopping the sweat off of his balding head with his handkerchief. Once he was good and composed, he knocked hard on the door, hoping Danny wouldn’t be in and he could just change the lock and wash his hands of him.
	“Who is it?” called a muffled voice from inside. Shit, he’s home.
	“You know damn well who it is, Danny, open the fuckin’ door.”
	Nobody came. His patience exhausted, Ron used his skeleton key and opened the lock himself. He fully expecting to find the grubby little weasel sitting there with a pouty face and another bullshit excuse for why he didn’t have the money when both of them knew all he meant was he hadn’t stolen it yet.
	Instead… there was a girl.
	Not just any girl – a smoking hot girl. She was dressed the way Ron would’ve expected one of Danny’s skanky friends to dress – a thin and dingy t-shirt with some shitty rock band he’d never heard of that was stretched so tight it was almost see-through over her massively busty frame and the neckline cut with a pair of scissors to show off her cans. Coupled with it were a pair of scandalously brief cut-off jean shorts, the few dangling threads covering more than what little remained of the legs. Add to that a big mane of auburn hair so ill-maintained that it was anybody’s guess whether she just woke up, just sobered up, or simply hadn’t groomed in days.
	“Hi!” she said pleasantly. His ears told him that it must’ve been her voice he’d heard through the door, not Danny’s.
	“Hi,” he said, trying not to leer. She was half his age, for fuck’s sake. Besides, she’d probably been fucking that idiot Danny, which was an even stronger mark against her. Looking around though, Ron didn’t see him. “Can I talk to Danny?” 
	She giggled. “Like, sure!”
	He waited a moment. She didn’t look for him, call for him, go get him, nothin’. Fuckin’ airhead, probably too stupid or too high to know whose apartment she was even in. “Yo, Danny!” he bellowed, making sure he could be heard anywhere in the apartment. “Time to pay up!”
	“It sure is!” the girl said back. “I was, like, hoping you’d stop by soon!”
	“What? I’m here for Danny, lady. We got business.”
	She looked confused – a look which, from the look of her, she looked a lot. “Well you found Danni,” she said.
	“Well, if you’d bring Danny out here, we have a lot to talk about. Once I get my money, your pal and I need to make an understanding about how things are going to go in the future.” 
	“Um, you’re super weird, Ron,” she said. “But, like, OK! Here’s Danni’s money!” She stood, then reached into her pants shamelessly, fishing around so much he began to wonder if she was actually fingering herself right here in front of him. Instead, when her hands came out it was holding a stack of bills thick enough he wondered he hadn’t noticed its bulge, tight as her shorts were.
	The girl bounced across the room – clearly no bra, but her tits didn’t seem to have been reminded they were supposed to obey the laws of gravity – and stopped in front of him. “There you go!”
	He took the money, then look it over. “Um, lady, this is like… Jesus, what is this!” He kept counting. The bills were mostly hundreds, and still it took him a minute to get a handle on it. “There’s gotta be like twenty or thirty thousand dollars here!”
	She frowned. “Um, is that not enough? Danni’s super sorry.”
	“Wait, you’re saying Danny’s paying this as some kind of late fee? This is way too much. even for as as late as the rent’s been in here.”
	 “Oh! OK, so then, like, just take whatever the right number is, and give Danni back the rest.”
	He looked at the stack, and looked at the girl. She practically had the word simpleton tattooed on her forehead. How the fuck much of this could he get away with keeping? Then, reality crashed home and he realized the likelihood of this money being clean. Usually, it was no biggie – Ron didn’t ask questions he didn’t want answers to. But this much? This much, somebody could come looking for it.
	He handed her back the entire stack. “Look, I don’t know where this money came from, but I don’t want nothing to do with it.”
	She took it. “Oh, I know where it came from. I found this girl I went to high school with, Genny, and I used my magic headband to trick her into fucking me, and then I stole her car and her jewelry! She’s SOOOO stupid!” The girl giggled.
	“I’m sorry, did you say ‘magic headband’?”
	“Yep! It made me pretty and suuuper smart! Isn’t that awesome! I’m totally going to use it to fuck tons of people.” She nodded vigorously, then, as if she’d somehow been unclear, she cupped her tits – easily double D’s, maybe more – and shook them at him.
	“Look, whatever you’re on, lady, get off it. For now, if Danny’s got nothing better to pay me with than a whacked-out hooker with her panties stuffed full of stolen cash, I gotta change the locks.”
	“Noooo!” she whined. “No, you can’t! Danni NEEDS that lock to work, because, like, it’s the only one there’s a key for!” She picked up a key ring on the coffee table, turning and bending at the waist. The shorts were cut even higher in the back, the bottom of both her spectacularly voluptuous ass cheeks hanging out. She turned and showed him the lone key on the ring, lower lip thrust out.
	Ron snatched it out of her hand, recognizing it as the key to the apartment. “That’s kind of the idea, sweetheart. Thanks for that – always nice to get my key back.”
	“But, but but, nooo! Like, you said Danni could pay you with something else, right? Just not the money in my panties?”
	“Look, lady? I don’t want to be part of any money you have, OK? No offense.” He hoped she took some offense, actually, but still.
	“All right. So like, what can I pay you with?”
	“Sweetheart, I don’t know who the hell you are or why you’re so all-fired anxious to make good on Danny’s debts, but trust me, you’re better off without him.”
	She giggled. “I’m not a him, silly.”
	“What? I didn’t say you were – I was talking about Danny.” Geez this girl was dumb.
	“I know! I’m Danni!”
	“What?” Oh, apparently this bimbo had the same name – now he got it. “No, I mean deadbeat Danny, the dipshit who lives here.”
	“I do live here!” she said, stamping her foot petulantly, sending ripples through all the best parts of her. “You really think I’m a dipshit?”
	He was nearing the end of his patience with this twit. “You know, I had my doubts at first, but I think you just might’ve convinced me that Danny – the boy Danny, as in Dan-yull, not Dan-yell – is the brains of this operation.”
	“Oh, yeah! Daniel is sooooo smart! Danni is all dumb and silly and nobody takes her seriously and nobody wanted to fuck her like they do Daniel. It’s all very sad.”
	He looked over the girl in front of him. “I don’t think you need to worry about guys not wanting to fuck you.”
	She looked confused. “Don’t worry… about guys not wanting… two negatives make a positive… carry the three…”
	Carry the…! “I mean, you look pretty fuckable – that’s all.”
	Her smile returned, radiant and as pure and uncomplicated as the thoughts in her tiny little brain. “Awww, thank you! You’re super sweet, Ron. Like, I was kinda afraid of you before, but like, that was a super nice thing to say.”
	“I can’t imagine I’m the first one to point it out. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta change the lock, so you need to step outside.” 
	“Please, you can’t! Let me pay you! I’ll give you anything, as much as you want!”
	He looked her over – she was clearly desperate, even if the why of it wasn’t so obvious. It’d been a long while for him, especially for a hot little biscuit like this. “Well, you got something you wanna pay with other than that dirty money?”
	“Hey, my panties aren’t dirty – I just put on clean ones this morning!”
	There went his attempt at subtlety. “Look, I’m saying, you wanna pay me in trade, we can work something out.”
	“Oh! Like, sure – just look around, tell me what you’d like to trade me.”
	“Damnit, girl – you must suck dick like a Hoover or I can’t imagine how anyone could put up with you.”
	“I’ve actually, like, never sucked anyone’s dick before.”
	“Well, it’s never too late to learn a new skill. Speaking of, you were offering… ‘payment’?”
	“Speaking of…?” She pondered aloud, her half-dead hamster struggling mightily on the wheel in her brain. “Oh! You want me to totally suck your dick for rent!” She clapped her hands giddily at having solved the riddle, then soured immediately. “That’s super gross – I totally don’t do that. I’m, like, not a whore.”
	So much for that. “Well don’t sell yourself short, Danni – I’m sure you have unlimited potential in that field.”
	A smile came back to her face. “Like, you really think so?”
	“I know it. Body like yours, who wouldn’t want a piece.”
	“Ron! You’re making my pussy all gushy!” She playfully swatted his arm.
	He began to wonder if something was seriously wrong with her. Hell, even that crack-baby story about her magic headband was beginning to sound plausible. No girl could be such an idiot without it being the work of bad juju. “Oh, I bet you say that to all the fellas.”
	“Nope! I don’t think the fellas even know I have a pussy!”
	“What, they see those knockers and just forget to look any further?”
	“You like my boobies?”
	“I don’t think there’s a red-blooded man in this country who wouldn’t love your boobies, Danni.”
	She blushed. “You’re like, super nice. And like, you know just what to say to make me totally want you. Is that, like, embarrassing?”
	“Those are nothing to be embarrassed by,” he assured her. It was getting easier and easier to talk to her – he just had to think of her as having the IQ of a ten-year-old imbecile in the body of a twenty-five-year-old porn star. “Hell, you should show ‘em off!”
	“OK!” she said. That was all the more prompting it took – Danni lifted her shirt up and off, revealing a set of tits so perfect his mouth started watering. It was like someone had taken a cantelope, cut it in half, and stuck one on each side. Completely round, gravity-defying tits, each capped with a sweet little nipple that hardened even as he stared.
	“They’re… wow. Even better than I imagined.”
	“You were imagining my titties?” she said, clearly pleased. “That’s sooo cool!”
	“I, uh, was imagining your ass, too,” he said, setting down his toolkit.
	“Really? Um, like, what do you imagine it looks like?”
	“Why don’t you just take off those shorts, honey, and I’ll tell you how close I was?”
	“Ha! Like, O-M-G, you are so smart! That’d be way easier than using a bunch of big words. Boys talk so smart, I like barely understand you guys anyway.”
	She rambled on about the incomprehensible brilliance of boy talk – “like science and books and nucular powers and stuff” – as she worked at getting the shorts off. For a girl who seemed like she’d have to take her socks off to count past ten, he had to hand it to her, those skimpy little denim cut-offs were so tight that it took some genuine ingenuity to wiggle her broad hips out of them.
	She did (losing her train of thought somewhere between “boys always know about the current math trends” and trying to get her left shoe through the leg hole). Beneath them, there was an ass the likes of which he’d only seen in skin mags, and usually not even then. It was a smokin’ hot bubble butt, round enough to make a dent in the tradition of white girls and their lack of booty. It even somehow allowed for a thigh gap despite full, womanly thighs. Her panties were a pair of simple pink boy shorts that were indenting her ass cheeks, they were so tight. Ron could nearly hear the seams begging for mercy.
	“Hmm, when I imagined it, I imagined you more as a thong kind of girl.”
	“Oh! Well, like, I can sorta fix that!” Danni tugged at the front and back of her panties, giving herself a thorough wedgy that revealed her entire ass crack as well as the part of her pussy lips.
	“Yeah, that’s more like it.” He grabbed a handful, then two handfuls, of ass, fondling it to test for firmness. “You know, even better than I imagined, actually.”
	“Aw, you’re just sayin’ that,” she said, somehow managing shyness. “So, like, you aren’t really gonna fuck my ass, are you?”
	Ron blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
	“Yesterday you said if I didn’t pay rent, you would take it out of my ass,” she said. “Now you won’t let me pay, so… yesterday, I thought you like, meant it for pretend, but now, since you seem like you like my ass so much…”
	He thought back – he did vaguely recall having said that. Though… how would this bimbo know that? This kept getting weirder and weirder. “I said that to Dan-yull,” he said, trying to clarify. “Not you. Though I gotta say, your ass is a much better prospect.”
	She giggled. “But yesterday I was Dan-yull!” she said. “I think. It’s all, like, super confusing. I guess magic is more boy stuff, huh. I’m pretty sure I was a boy, like, right until you showed up.” 
	“Lady, what the fuck are you talkin’ about!”
	“I stole a magic headband, I told you! Geez, and they say I’m dumb.” She rolled her eyes. Ron prompted her to keep explaining, and she did – this whole tale about mugging a guy, turning into a hunky boy genius, fucking a couple girls, conning one and robbing the other, … it was insane.
	“That’s insane,” he said.
	“Ya, I know, right? But like, I took a video of it. It’s super legit.”
	“Show me.”
	Sure enough, he had a video – and what a video. He’d have figured it was just pirated porn except he was tech-savvy enough to see the thing was auto-labeled and time-stamped to corroborate her story. It was still all circumstantial – just PoV footage of some blonde with not a shred of self-respect or common sense about the guy she was with – until right near the end, the cameraman got the girl to thank him for de-flowering her. Beside her in the window of the car they’d fucked on was a reflection of the cameraman.
	It took some squinting, but…
	“Holy shit, that WAS Danny!” The voice had sounded familiar, but he hadn’t been sure until he caught the details. Same beady little eyes, same smirk like he was getting away with something. But if that story were true, that he’d actually found a magic fucking headband, then…
	 “So, looks like this headband or yours is after a little karmic restitution,” he said, eyeing her anew.
	“Um, I think it’s pronounced ‘prostitution.’ And like, even if I were a whore, I don’t think I’d wanna go to a car to do it.”
	Ron silenced her, thinking about what he’d seen in the video, what she’d told him in her dim-witted way of explaining it. How the girls had just eaten out of his hand, swallowed up whatever he’d done like he was god’s gift to women, how they just got hornier and hornier until they could hardly think straight.
	Well, who knew how this kind of thing worked? Worth a shot at least.
	“Danni – you sure are a pretty little bitch, aren’cha?”
	“Thanks,” she said, preening.
	“I bet you just love dick, don’t you.”
	“Um, I’ve never really had one.”
	“I really like you, Danni – do you like me?”
	“Oh, yes! I used to think you were like a big mean stupid-head with goofy bushy eyebrows that made you look super gay, but like, now you’re being so nice to me, so I guess I was wrong.”
	 “Danni, when you say things like that, it hurts my feelings.” Not really – he could give two fucks what that fuck-up gavone thought of him. “I think you better make it up to me.”
	“Oh, I’m super sorry, Ron! Please, tell me how I can make it up to you!”
	“Lose the panties,” he said coolly.
	“But like, then my… pussy would be all on display for you!” She even whispered the word pussy, poor shy naked moron slut.
	“Yeah, you know, you’re right. C’mon, let’s get you outside and I’ll just change the lock.”
	“Nuh uh! I’ll do it – I’ll do it, just don’t throw me out! Please, Ron, you can see my pussy, just pleeeease!” She didn’t even wait to be nudged again, tugging down the panties and freeing that bubbly beast beneath them.
	She was shaved. Ron wondered why that was – Daniel hadn’t been from the look of things in the video. Luckily, this girl only resembled him in the most superficial ways – not even a familial resemblance. It was easy to not think about, so he stopped. 
	“So are we OK now? I paid my rent?”
	He ignored the question. “You’re one hot piece of ass – I bet you’d be a ton of fun to fuck.” Not his best line, but that kind of bullshit had worked in that video.
	Sure enough, it seemed to here. “Oh, I bet! With these huge titties, and my big round butt, and my juicy pussy – did you see how it’s shaved? Isn’t that super slutty? – I guess I am fuckable, just like you said!”
	“Fuckable, you know what that means?”
	“Um, like, hot?”
	“It means, able to be fucked. Is that what you’re saying you are, Danni?”
	“Like, yeah, I guess I did say that. And you said it too! So like, it must be true, right?”
	“Sure seems that way. So, if you’re ‘able to be fucked,’ then I must be able to fuck you. I sure want to, doll.”
	“See, you’re making me all squishy in my cunny again! You’re like, too sexy for me to be around.”
	“I know, right. So let’s do it already.”
	The redhead teased her lower lip with her finger shyly, then grinned at him. “Oh, all right. I guess that would be OK. And this will take care of rent?”
	“Is that the only reason you wanna screw me? For money? I thought you said you weren’t a whore.”
	Danni grimaced. “Oh. Um, yeah, like, I guess I am then, huh. Geez, that was a dumb thing not to know about myself.”
	“It’s OK that you’re a dumb whore – you got the body for it.”
	“Aww, you’re so nice to me I’d probly like fuck you even for no reason.”
	“Let’s find out.”
	In the objective sense, she was a terrible lay. She’d had less than an hour of experience with her body, and she clearly didn’t have much of an idea about how to please a man. Ron had to guide her step by step on how to handle herself – and him – and finally just convinced her that she should just do whatever he said because he was so much smarter than her. 
	From there, she at least started improving her technique.
	By the time he was done with her – for the day – she’d swallowed his load twice, and taken it in her pussy two more. He’d have to start her on the pill if he was gonna keep fucking her. Though even then, he wasn’t sure some airhead half his age was exactly his thing. It was fun, of course, but… well, there was more than one way to get her rent money out of her.



	“You remember what you’re sposed to do, right?”
	“So like, whenever you’re gonna send a guy up, I do… whatever he says?”
	“Close, Deedee, close.” He’d had to rename her – calling her “Danni” had made it too hard not to think of who she used to be. She’d balked a little about letting him change her name – legally – until he’d pointed out how much easier it’d be for her to spell, since all she had to do was look at her boobs and she’d remember. Double D’s.
	Plus, she was a dumb-dumb, so that helped too.
	“Look, whenever a guy comes in, you just check your phone and I’ll tell you whether he paid for your mouth, your pussy, your ass, or some combination of them. Then just do that.”
	“And if he wants more?”
	“Tell him he has to talk to me first. You can call, if you have to.”
	“Right! You’re so smart Ron. I think you’re maybe the smartest person I ever met in my whole life. I just wish I weren’t so super nervous. Having a bunch of strangers, like, fuck me in every hole all day seems kinda…”
	“Hot? I bet it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever thought of. You, my little Deedee, so damn sexy the boys can’t stop themselves, they’ll pay anything to get a chance with you. You’re like a goddess – how awesome is that!”
	“Pretty awesome,” she conceded, her face lighting up a little at the glamor of whoring herself out to total strangers. Not that they would be – a lot of them actually knew the old Danny. He’d done his marketing putting out the word that the boy had a twin sister who was coming to look after his place while he was doing some time up-state, and she was desperate to get some money for her bro in jail.
	Turned out, Danny had a fair share enemies around the neighborhood from his years of weaseling out of debts, sucker punching people to start fights, diming on his rivals when they came too hard at him. There were plenty of guys who’d pay top dollar to stick it to his whore “sister” just to get back at him. 
	Ron would almost pity her if he weren’t one of those guys.
	He’d put out the rumor wherever he could – local bars, gossips, even went out of his comfort zone and got Danni’s help passing it on to the people she knew through social media. She was already averaging four clients a day for the next three weeks.
	“So, like, how long do I have to do this to pay off my rent?” she asked timidly.
	“I’m sure you’ll get this month’s paid down by the end of the month,” he said. “You just have to work hard at it. I know you can do it, you stupid, big-titted, lazy lying cheating dirtbag whore.”
	Deedee giggled at his cute little nickname for her – she’d been offended by it at first, but he explained how he meant each part as a compliment. It didn’t make sense to her, but then, that was probably her fault, since she was a dumb slut.
	“All right – well your first client’s waiting in the hall, so I’m gonna send him in. You ready?”
	She immediately checked her phone. “You didn’t text me what to do!” she whined.
	“Deedee, I’ve been standing right here in front of you, of course I didn’t… you know what, nevermind. Let’s build good habits. Like training a retarded cocker spaniel, I swear…” He took out his phone, and soon, she got her text.
	Paid top dollar for you – suck, fuck, and whatever else he wants. Make me proud, dumb-dumb.
	Ron smiled at her and stepped out, letting in a man behind him. He was a good deal older than her, probably old enough to be her daddy or so. Something about him even looked familiar, though she was too stupid to remember from where.
	“Um, hi!” she said. “I’m Deedee. Come on in!”
	“Hi, Deedee. I’m Armand.”
	“Like, hi Armand. You’re kinda cute – I’m surprised you’d need to pay for a dumb whore like me!”
	“You’re ‘Badger’s’ sister? Daniel’s?”
	Ron had talked to her about this – about how people wouldn’t understand about magic. So she just pretended she was her own sister – super confusing, but somehow less confusing than the truth.
	“Yeppers! He’s, like, my twin! We’re really close – closer than most people would think!” She giggled at her sly joke. 
	He eyed her somewhat coldly. “Well, that’s good to hear. You see, your brother knew my sister.”
	“Oh, cool! What a fun coincidence!”
	“It’s not a coincidence, actually. Look, I don’t want to waste a lot of time with small talk. Just bend your ass over the arm of that couch there.”
	She smiled. His grumpiness was just so manly! She liked how he didn’t waste any time going after what he wanted. Then again, she liked things about every man she met these days. Her pussy tingling, she bent right over and waved her butt in the air, grinning eagerly to herself as he came up behind her.
	And spanked her – hard! Super mean! It was too bad Ron said she had to do whatever he wanted, because that was like not OK! “Why are you spanking me, Armand?” she whined. “I’ll be a good girl, I promise!”
	“I’m sure you will, Deedee, but it turns out your brother is a very bad boy. And I’d prefer it if you call me Mr. Millesant.”



A word to the wise: an identify spell, granting a +10 bonus to Spellcraft checks made to discover the properties and activation of any magic items you may be lucky enough to happen upon, is often over-looked. Many characters can identify most items without difficulty, after all! Still, cautious players should remember that the difficulty of identifying cursed items is 10 points higher, and failing leaves one with a mistaken impression as to the item’s function. Caveat cleptor!