"Hey, bro. Haven't heard from you in a while. Everything okay in college?"
"Hey, yeah. Just been...busy.
There's something I need to show
you. Here's a video."
"Oooh, who's the hottie? She has amazing tits."
"That's...that's me, dude."
"WTF! You're joking, right? You've got boobs?"
"Yes. And I've been growing my hair out. Even had one of the girls paint my nails."
"HUH? BRO! Senior year, you were the best player on our team, for Christ's sake! What happened?"
"Yeah, well here in college I wasn't good enough to even play!"
"I'm still not seeing the connection!"
"Remember Mr. Verne? The weird guy who lived in my building? He promised me drugs to help get ne back to being a star player. But they weren't just 'performance enhancers.' They were hormones. FEMALE hormones."
"Jesus, dude!!! That's fucked up. Did he do this on purpose?"
"Pretty sure, yeah. He used to be an endocrinologist. Lost his license over hormone experiments. Now he vanished again."
"Shit. But why the hair and nails and shit? You look like a chick now."
"The damage is done. Gonna take years to fix. For now, I feel like I've found another way to help the team. See, the team captain, Jose, was lonely and the coach said it was impacting his on-field performance."
"Lonely? Are you saying..."
"Yeah. You know how the saying goes - 'if you can't join them, beat them.' Or in this case, 'date them.'"